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Brief Update- Life Is Precious

Nando and his monkey

Nando and his monkey

I want to thank everyone for your kindness, your sensitivity and sticking with me through my partial breakdown. You need to know how dear you are to me and how much I appreciate your concern and kind words. Thank You!!

Nando is still with me, Over the past few days I have been doing some real soul searching, life and death is a very serious matter. I have had to euthanize my beloved pets before, its terrible, heart wrenching and so hard to do but as they always say “you will know when it’s time” thats very true, however with Nando it is not that clear cut. He is old, he has diabetes, he is blind, he has neuropathy, he has pain,  I agonized over this and came to the realization that it was not a clear cut decision and since thats the case I could not have Nando put to sleep. We have sleepless nights, but so do many people, we also have good nights like last night where he went to bed with no pain meds and slept like a baby.

I had a revelation the other day. I sit with Nando sometimes on my stoop and he just loves to lay on the warm stone with the sun shining on him. While I sat there a very old man walked by, very slowely, his back was bent much like Nando’s and he walked with a cane. I said hello to him and he stopped and looked at me and gave me this huge smile and said “it’s a glorious day” and was on his way. I looked at that frail old man who obviously has pain and other problems associated with old age and thought he is still full of life and was enjoying his walk in the warm sun.  At that moment my decision was made and I knew that I could not at this time end Nando’s life, He enjoyed the sun, he enjoys his food, he loves laying on the bed with lots of pillows and blankets. I think the good days mitigate the days and nights that are more challenging.

For me, I have sleepless nights and still have to care for my boy and work, I will take that as part of the cycle of life. I won’t feel sorry for myself any more and will continue to work on my blog, keeping it current and fresh is one of the joys of my life and I couldn’t not do it. I know the day will come when I will no longer have Nando but for the time being I will enjoy the time we have together. I have an amazing support group, wonderful friends that selflessly come here and sit with Nando while I go out to my appointments. I am so grateful.

Thank you for listening (reading) I have a lot of catching up to do reading your wondeful blogs, drooling over your amazing recipes and cooking up my own.

 

Thank you so much!

 

Suzanne – A Pug In The Kitchen

 

113 Comments Post a comment
  1. Suzanne, as I sit here with my little Bob, I fully understand every word you have written. Sometimes we need a reminder or a message from the stars to help guide us and it sounds like that gentlemen was yours.
    I can only wish you strength and send you and Nando my love xxx

    April 30, 2015
    • Elaine, thank you so much and having someone understand what we are going through means so much to me. Thank you.

      April 30, 2015
      • I really do. I’ve been there, it’s so hard xx

        April 30, 2015
  2. Dear Suzanne — Just keep doing what you need to do, and please don’t worry about other blogs. Sending you good thoughts all the time. Love, Light, and hugs. 🙂

    April 30, 2015
    • Thank you Teagan but I had stopped everything and realized I cannot do that. I haven’t even read your last episode and I cannot deprive myself of that pleasure. Thank you for caring and for your support I appreciate it so much.

      April 30, 2015
  3. Suzanne
    I won’t say much after reading the post…but give you a big hug Lady..for that big heart and compose!!!
    Love n warm hugs

    April 30, 2015
  4. talkavino #

    A wonderful post, Suzanne. Hugs.

    April 30, 2015
  5. Suzanne… my heart is with you and Nando. Such a beautiful post. You are a beautiful soul, for giving him that sunshine during the last part of his life….and he is a lucky boy to have you. I’m thinking of you, and praying for you the strength to carry on… Love to you both. ❤

    April 30, 2015
    • Prudy thank you so much. I feel so badly that I haven’t been reading and commenting on so many blogs but had to take a break. Thank you for your support and vey kind words.

      April 30, 2015
  6. Fig & Quince #

    I won’t even presume to know how this feels, but I do want to send you both lots of love. It’s a sign of courage and true humanity to capture and relish the good things even at the worst of times. Your respect, love and tender care of Nando is amazing. I loved reading that he still enjoys his food and it’s darling that he relishes time sitting on a stoop in the sun. He’s a Brooklynite, after all! ❤

    April 30, 2015
    • Thanks so much Azita. It has been a real difficult time but sometimes you just have to shake yourself off and get on with life. The balancing part is the hardest.

      April 30, 2015
  7. Oh Suzanne – I am so sorry to hear your Nando is in so much distress. I gotta agree with Prudy, you are indeed a beautiful soul with such an immense heart – Nando was meant to be your boy! Here’s hoping that y’all manage to find something good in every day. xx

    April 30, 2015
    • Hi Shashi, thank you so much. I have missed much the last few weeks and feel badly but I needed the break. I love my Nando, can’t imagine life without him, grappling with that.

      April 30, 2015
  8. Antisocial Patty #

    Oh Suzanne, I’ve been away from blogging and I didn’t realize you and Nando were struggling. I’m so sorry you have to go through this again. I realize it’s part of life, but it doesn’t make it any easier. Hopefully Nando will tell you when or if the time comes. I’m glad you’re enjoying your time together on the stoop. Hugs to you both.

    April 30, 2015
    • Hi Patty, yes haven’t seen you around much lately. Thank you for thinking of us and i am enjoying the time we have left.

      April 30, 2015
  9. One thing is for sure very clear. Nando is so loved and he knows it!! So sorry you have to go through this.

    April 30, 2015
  10. Suzanne you are such a gentle, kind person with a loving soul. I wish I could give you a hug. Life is precious and such a gift but sometimes as emotional beings we feel sad and that is okay. I’d like to think that gentle elderly man is a gift from God reminded you that you are love and that though Nando’s time on earth may be coming to an end you will be with him again someday! Blessings and peace to you!

    April 30, 2015
    • Thank you so much, the elderly man was a gift, he was an angel I believe sent to give me a message. I believe that, Thank you so much.

      April 30, 2015
  11. Thinking of you and Nando Suzanne, you are both in my prayers as you said this will not get easier, know that we are all thinking of you and sending you positive energy, I just wished I lived closer so I could help you out!! Much love you both!!

    April 30, 2015
  12. I am just catching up on this news, but I just want to send as many well wishes your way as I can. I so admire the fact that despite going through a difficult time, you’ve still managed to find the good in it all, which can be so hard to do. I truly hope that it all works out for the best.

    April 30, 2015
    • Thank you so much Justine. Everything will work out somehow I just want Nando to be as comfortable as possble and my wish is that when it’s his time he goes peacefully and at home with me.

      April 30, 2015
  13. Jenny #

    Beautifully written, Suzanne.  Despite being sleep-deprived, it sounds like you’ve made some gentle peace about this period that you and Nando are going through right now together. So wise of you to see the things that he still enjoys and that it isn’t his time quite yet.  I hope you are managing OK.  Again, let me know if I can help. I’ll come sit with your guy….. xo  From: apuginthekitchen To: jennifer_clem@yahoo.com Sent: Thursday, April 30, 2015 8:24 AM Subject: [New post] Brief Update- Life Is Precious #yiv0875106034 a:hover {color:red;}#yiv0875106034 a {text-decoration:none;color:#0088cc;}#yiv0875106034 a.yiv0875106034primaryactionlink:link, #yiv0875106034 a.yiv0875106034primaryactionlink:visited {background-color:#2585B2;color:#fff;}#yiv0875106034 a.yiv0875106034primaryactionlink:hover, #yiv0875106034 a.yiv0875106034primaryactionlink:active {background-color:#11729E;color:#fff;}#yiv0875106034 WordPress.com | apuginthekitchen posted: “I want to thank everyone for your kindness, your sensitivity and sticking with me through my partial breakdown. You need to know how dear you are to me and how much I appreciate your concern and kind words. Thank You!!Nando is still with me, Over ” | |

    April 30, 2015
    • Thanks so much Jen, thank you for offering to help I so appreciate it.

      April 30, 2015
  14. This is a beautiful post. Thank you so much, best wishes and prayers to you and Nando.

    April 30, 2015
  15. Suzanne, what a touching beautiful post, Nando appreciates all the love and caring you give him. I wish I could help with the babysitting and caring. Take good care, try to take a nap if you can and a big hug.
    Gerlinde

    April 30, 2015
  16. What a beautiful post. Prayers to you and Nando.

    April 30, 2015
  17. To Mom:
    From Izzy:
    No Mom, not yet time. Nando loves the Sun and Springtime…Daisey and I have no pain in doggie heaven Mom…not yet time…I miss and Love you ForeverXOXOXOXOXO “Izzy”.

    April 30, 2015
  18. Hi Suzanne, I am so sorry for all that you are going through with your beloved Nando. Life is precious and it sounds like Nando is so loved and cherished. You are such a great person. Take care of yourself. Cheri

    April 30, 2015
    • Thanks Cheri. Nando is a very specal boy, the sweetest personality love him.

      April 30, 2015
  19. Maria DeBrango Stickel #

    Keeping you and Nando in our prayers. Trust your judgement about your baby!
    Love,
    Maria

    April 30, 2015
  20. Hang in there……. things can only get better

    April 30, 2015
  21. Thanks so much.I will trust my judgement.

    April 30, 2015
  22. I’m glad to hear you are able to have a few more precious moments with your sweet little boy.

    April 30, 2015
  23. Suzanne, sorry to hear your words about Nando. I can understand what your feeling that I had been through as well long time ago. Think positive and be happy with him every moment.

    April 30, 2015
  24. Sending you love, hugs and prayers for strength at this tough time! Blessings! 🙂

    April 30, 2015
  25. Suzanne, sounds like you are really soul searching and finding peace even though this is such a difficult time. I am glad you are going to keep blogging and stay connected to all your incredible friends who love and support you. Years ago I had to make a decision whether to end my sweet beagle’s life and to this day I am still troubled and wonder if I made the right decision. That was the hardest decision I have ever had to make. And I know I don’t have closure because at the time I didn’t have peace about it. What I had was mostly pressure and uncertainty. So, with you taking your time and enjoying every precious moment you have with him is a great place to be. xx Seana

    April 30, 2015
    • Seana, thank you. I know the decision and it has been agonizing, I also know whereof you speak regarding pressure because I am being pressured even by strangers who in the guise of a well meaning comment instead are hurtful and cruel. I still agonize over the decision I had to make years ago, my sweet little shar pei had metastatic cancer, I knew I had to end her suffering but there is always a question at least in our minds regarding timing and are they truly ready to pass. Be kind to yourself, I am sure you made the right decision for your sweet beagle. I do understand all to well. Thank you for the support, I have felt torn apart for the past few weeks. I am spending time with Nando right now. He has deteriorated significantly since his sweet friend Izzy passed, it’s alarming how fast he has deteriorated. Thank you.

      April 30, 2015
      • He’s probably a bit heart broken too and missing Izzy, just like you. Stay strong Suzanne. Glad you are spending time with him now.

        April 30, 2015
      • He is heart broken. So much so that his health has deteriorated dramatically since her death.

        April 30, 2015
      • 😦 That’s what I thought. So sorry. I keep thinking about it. Know that you are in my thoughts Suzanne…

        April 30, 2015
  26. What a beautiful post and sentiment – it’s as if the old man was sent to give you a sign that Nando would still like to hang around for a while with you. It’s never the right time – enjoy the sun together for a while…

    April 30, 2015
    • He was a sign for me, after he smiled at me it was crystal clear. Thanks so much.

      April 30, 2015
  27. Oh Suzanne – my eyes were filled with tear reading your post – I can understand every bit of pain your going thru at this stage…. ..don’t worry about blog – please take care of yourself and Nando – just praying for you the strength to carry on… ❤ ❤

    April 30, 2015
  28. I was really touched by this post, I like the way you tell the story of the old man passing by, the words leap from the page and I can see the scene in my mind’s eye. Hugs to you and Nando. Bxx

    April 30, 2015
  29. Such a beautiful post! I am thinking of you and Nando…hugs to both of you. Olga xxx

    April 30, 2015
  30. Dear Suzanne, I wish you lots of strength to get through this difficult time. Nando is lucky to have you. Warm hugs, Naina

    April 30, 2015
  31. You’re the one who knows Nando best Suzanne, so only you (and perhaps the Vet) can know the right path to take with him. Try not to let the comments and suggestions of others upset you. You’re doing an absolutely amazing job of giving him the love and comfort he needs right now… dear little chap. Sending much love to you both. Margot.xx

    April 30, 2015
    • Nando’s Vet did not think it was time. I have been exhausted, depressed and so upset lately I really didn’t know what to do, I felt at times that I was being selfish wanting him around longer. I feel at peace now with the decision. Thanks so much Margot.

      April 30, 2015
  32. Suzanne, not many people would do what you are doing. I believe in past life connections and I see one here.
    That gentleman was sent across only for you…

    Love and Hugs coming your way! God Bless 🙂 xxx

    April 30, 2015
    • Thank you. I also believe in past life connections and also that the man was a messenger. You confirmed my thoughts on this.

      April 30, 2015
  33. You are a sweet, sweet woman! And if Nando is still eating, all has not been lost. His pictures show him to be a well-loved and happy dog, and you both need to be strong for each other. And because I am too far to do so, please give him a huge (but soft) hug for me xo

    April 30, 2015
    • Thank you, yes Nando eats, drinks, doesn’t stand or walk well but enjoys laying in the sun as far as I am concerned he is doing just fine. Thank you so much. Nando will get a big virtual hug from you!

      May 1, 2015
  34. Hi Suzanne, sending lots of love and hugs over to you and Nando. Take lots of care!

    May 1, 2015
  35. One of the hardest days of my life was when my beloved dog of 15 years died. I don’t think I have really come to grips with it yet and that was five years ago. I am with you in spirit….

    May 1, 2015
    • My Izzy passed in October and I cannot get a grip on that at all and now faced with the possibility of losing Nando a few months later is almost more than I can bear. I am taking it a day at a time, enjoying him while he is with me. He will be 15 in November, that will be a milestone. Thank you so much Jeff.

      May 1, 2015
  36. XOXO

    May 1, 2015
  37. What a beautiful post and great choice to keep doing the things you love, if you’re able. Your doggie is so cute with his grey mug. The other day I was visiting my friend in her apartment and I saw this old hobbling dog, all grey and old man-like and after they left the elevator I started tearing up. I was with my husband. When the elevator opened, my friend happened to be standing there and saw me crying and was ready to deck my husband. She thought we were fighting and i was like “no. I just saw an old dog and got sad” It was so crazy. She was like, “oh I know who it was. He’s not sad. He’s a happy old dog. Why are you crying?” It was so funny. He looked like your cutie.

    May 1, 2015
    • Thats a sweet story, I get mixed reactions when people see me walking Nando outside. Nando wears his old age as a badge of courage I think. He takes his time, moves very slowly and enjoys what he enjoys and as long as he can enjoy it’s all good. Thanks so much Amanda.

      May 1, 2015
  38. Very heart rendering to read this post. I am touched!

    May 1, 2015
  39. Sweet, sweet Nando! How magical to get a sign that Nando is not ready to go. Buddy turned 15 yesterday and I am grateful for each day that I have with he and Ginger. Our hearts are with you and we know you have the strength to make every precious moment count as well as to say goodbye when the time is right.

    May 2, 2015
    • Thank you Stacey!

      May 11, 2015
      • I am going through hard times with Buddy right now and can literally feel your pain.

        May 14, 2015
      • I’m so sorry to hear that Stacey. We know each other’s pain. Wishing you and Buddy the best.

        May 14, 2015
  40. My mom told me that sometimes the best thing to do for a friend who’s going through difficult times is just listen. And that’s what I’m doing right now, Suzanne. I’m here to listen and lend support whenever you need it. I’m glad to read you’re at peace with your decision. Sending you and Nando lots of love! ❤ ❤

    May 2, 2015
  41. I send you a big hugs for both of you and take care xx

    May 3, 2015
  42. Big hugs to you ✊

    May 3, 2015
  43. Thanks a lot for your update Suzanne. You and your sweet Nando are in my thoughts. Hugs and take care.

    May 3, 2015
  44. Oh Suzanne, I am sorry and relieved at the same time reading this: sorry because of Nando’s condition and relieved because of your decision not to put him down under the circumstances. I can only imagine how hard it must be for you to make decisions like those, but I think you decided for the best. A big hug to you and a belly rub to Nando.

    May 3, 2015
    • I’ll accept the hug and belly rub for Nando, he will love it. Thanks Stefano.

      May 4, 2015
  45. Sending so much love and hugs yours and Nando’s way! It’s hard to see any family member sick and in pain, but when it’s our pets it’s always hard to know what’s best because they can’t tell us how they feel. I like to think they let you know in their own way and it seems like Nando has been doing that with you. I hope that the remainder of your time with him is long lasting and as pain free as possible ❤ xxx

    May 3, 2015
  46. All of us who love a dog can appreciate this post so much Suzanne. Sending you both love. xo

    May 3, 2015
  47. thanks for the update, sending my love to you and Nando!

    May 3, 2015
  48. Beautiful Post!!!

    May 4, 2015
  49. It’s true Suzanne– you have so many people out here who’ve come to love you for your writing, your honest self, for your food… and are with you in times like these. Love this post– so tenderly and beautifully written. thank you for the look at life and care for those we love…

    May 4, 2015
  50. Very touching. Continuous prayers for you and Nando.

    May 4, 2015
  51. I had no idea you were going through this Suzanne. Life is a precious and it is meant to be lived. I will be praying for Nando, I know he will make it though. And you stay positive and keep a smile on your face.

    K / House of KTS (formerly of Pure & Complex)
    http://www.houseofkts.com

    May 5, 2015
  52. Beautiful post…best wishes to you from me and my little Shi Tzu Scruffy…enjoy every moment with Nando…

    May 6, 2015
  53. Suzanne, the post you wrote is wonderful. You’re such an amazing woman. I’m sending you my virtual hugs ..

    May 8, 2015
  54. Suzanne – sending you love and support. You will continue to be guided I’m sure. Stay strong!!

    May 10, 2015
    • Thanks Mary Frances. I am sometimes overwhelmed but you are so right I will be guided.

      May 10, 2015

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