I want to thank everyone for your kindness, your sensitivity and sticking with me through my partial breakdown. You need to know how dear you are to me and how much I appreciate your concern and kind words. Thank You!!
Nando is still with me, Over the past few days I have been doing some real soul searching, life and death is a very serious matter. I have had to euthanize my beloved pets before, its terrible, heart wrenching and so hard to do but as they always say “you will know when it’s time” thats very true, however with Nando it is not that clear cut. He is old, he has diabetes, he is blind, he has neuropathy, he has pain, I agonized over this and came to the realization that it was not a clear cut decision and since thats the case I could not have Nando put to sleep. We have sleepless nights, but so do many people, we also have good nights like last night where he went to bed with no pain meds and slept like a baby.
I had a revelation the other day. I sit with Nando sometimes on my stoop and he just loves to lay on the warm stone with the sun shining on him. While I sat there a very old man walked by, very slowely, his back was bent much like Nando’s and he walked with a cane. I said hello to him and he stopped and looked at me and gave me this huge smile and said “it’s a glorious day” and was on his way. I looked at that frail old man who obviously has pain and other problems associated with old age and thought he is still full of life and was enjoying his walk in the warm sun. At that moment my decision was made and I knew that I could not at this time end Nando’s life, He enjoyed the sun, he enjoys his food, he loves laying on the bed with lots of pillows and blankets. I think the good days mitigate the days and nights that are more challenging.
For me, I have sleepless nights and still have to care for my boy and work, I will take that as part of the cycle of life. I won’t feel sorry for myself any more and will continue to work on my blog, keeping it current and fresh is one of the joys of my life and I couldn’t not do it. I know the day will come when I will no longer have Nando but for the time being I will enjoy the time we have together. I have an amazing support group, wonderful friends that selflessly come here and sit with Nando while I go out to my appointments. I am so grateful.
Thank you for listening (reading) I have a lot of catching up to do reading your wondeful blogs, drooling over your amazing recipes and cooking up my own.
Thank you so much!
Suzanne – A Pug In The Kitchen